Ever had a really bad gut-wrenching breakup? How do you get over that? What do you do to make yourself happy? I'm in need of some good advice right now.

Amanda, I'm so sorry that you're going through a breakup.

Pamper yourself, get a facial, massage or spa treatment, or go shopping, but don't forget to deal with your emotions, because they will catch up with you. I speak from experience, it took me a long time to get over a break up once, because I wouldn't allow myself to move on.

Surround yourself with people who'll lend a listening ear, and who can support you.

Eventually things will get better, I promise.

Sorry to hear about your breakup, Amanda. We are all here for you!

Please just try to stay strong and take each day as it comes. I know it is so cliche, but seriously, everything happens for a reason. I live my life by that saying! I have a friend who dated her high school sweetheart for 3 years, broke up with him, dated someone else (we'll say #2), broke up, dated someone else (#3), broke up, ended up with #2 again and got engaged then broke up, but is now back with her high school sweetheart!

What I'm trying to say here is that you don't know what the future holds. However, good things will happen and you just have to keep your head up! You never know what is in store for you, and maybe this just was not the right time right now, but something even better will come from it!

Stay patient, stay strong, and surround yourself with good people who will support you no matter what. A little splurge on some fun beauty products could help too!

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, Amanda.

I agree with Meg and say splurge--treat yourself to some new beauty or bath and body products. They always make me feel better.

Just know that everything will eventually get better.

Amanda, sorry to hear that, ive been thru one myself, its not easy sometimes, but you do move on.taking time to process the whole thing and tell yourself that you are ok.
surrounding yourself with things to do and friends helps too.
put on a funny movie, treat yourself to something youve always wanted,etc.

Amanda, sorry to hear that you are going through something. Most of us have been where you are. I definitely agree with all the advice: take time to grieve but don't let it overwhelm you. Remember the only thing you can control is yourself. You never know what the future holds. Definitely take advantage of the people who care about you right now. Don't be afraid to call on those people. Most important, take care of yourself and if you can, do something special: get a haircut, buy some new clothes (maybe something a little out of character, etc). Anything to mark the turning point where you start focusing on you. We're having a virtual drink with you!!

Amanda, I am so sorry to hear you are mending a broken-heart.

Try and surround yourself with good friends and supportive people. This is your time to spoil yourself, go out and treat yourself to some goodies. Some days will be easier than others, on the rough days try to have friends or family around. Dont try to go it alone, you definitely need to talk it out as you go through the stages.

In time things will definitely get better for you. Eventually you will realize he wasnt the "one" for you. You will find Mr. Right. I know right now you dont believe that, but you will. I was engaged to my high school sweetheart, and after we broke up I was devastated. It took about 6 months for me to feel like myself again. I look back at that time and think what was I thinking with him. At the time I didnt see it that way. Now that I am married (for over 7 years) I know how lucky I was that we did break up. I never would have met my husband, and been half as happy as I am now. Just remember you will get through this, and it will get easier. Hang in there Amanda!!!

I've been through more than my fair share of bad breakups. I agree w/ some of the advice that others are giving: go shopping & keep busy w/ your normal interests.

When I was 20, one of the things I did to get over a breakup was to go get a navel piercing. I still have it to this day & plan on keeping it until I'm an old woman.

One thing I will have to caution you about is not to get involved in "rebounds". As tempting as they may sound, they make you feel 10x worse. Take some time to be single before getting involved in something again.

I think the only thing that'll help w/ a bad breakup is time. It won't be easy, but things will get better.

I really appreciate everything you guys are doing to help me. It's been so bad because I've been with him for 5 years and I've never connected with anybody the way I have with him. Is it possible to still be friends? We make amazing friends and I just can't imagine letting that go.

I've found that talking about it helps, because it's helping me know that I'm not the only one who has gone through this and has had these feelings..

I love this forum, because everybody is always so supportive and caring. I love you guys!

My daughter just went through a breakup with her boyfriend of over 3 years. She wanted to know if they could still be friends. Hers was a long distance relationship so it was a bit different. But what I told her is that in the beginning the pain and hurt is just too fresh so I believe you have to distance yourself from the relationship for a while until you can heal your heart and get strong again. Maybe then you can be friends. But at this stage, you or he may be tempted to try to reconcile for the wrong reasons, simply for convenience and security.

I don't know what went wrong in your relationship, Amanda and that has a lot to do with the way you need to handle things. If it was just incompatibility at this point, perhaps some distance will help you both have more value for each other. Or once you both begin to date again, you may realize that the problems are worthy of more effort because it's hard to find a life partner.

I agree with Megan: occupy yourself, don't stay curled up in bed eating Ben and Jerry's (although that sure is comforting), and remember that the best healer is time.

I agree w/ Lovey that it might not be a wise decision to be friends at this point. Being friends w/ an ex is something that sounds nice in theory, but doesn't really work. I've only really managed to be friends w/ one of my exes, but that's only b/c we broke up due to extenuating circumstances (him moving to London for his job) & he was a lot more mature than some of the other guys I've dated. I haven't talked to him in quite awhile though.

There is one thing I'm a bit concerned about though. I saw that you mentioned in another thread that this was an on again/off again relationship. I've been down that road before. I was involved w/ someone for 2 yrs. on an on again/off again basis. We broke up about 4 different times and each time it was for the same reasons. He didn't change at all. I was young (19-21) at the time, so I had to learn things the hard way.

Also, remember you're fairly young. It appears that you've spent a lot of time invested in this relationship & it's become comfortable to you. But what I think you need to do is take about 1-2 months to be single, cut all ties w/ the ex, & get some dating experience after that.

Amanda I agree with Lovey and Megan In theory remaining friends sounds good, but its really difficult. I am not saying it cant happen, its just very hard. Especially since your feelings are involved. I think at first when you try to remain friends it is so easy to get involved with him again. If that didnt happen, then if he or you started dating someone new it creates promblems. Mainly jealousy, which right now you dont need.

I would give it some time, let the wounds heal some. Then from there who knows, you guys could someday be friends. I just think right now its too hard with your emotions being involved. Good luck Amanda!

Music helped me a lot. Try to spend time with your family and friends, especially those who are single. The other suggestions on here are great, but time is the best healer. When I broke up with the boyfriend I had from 7th grade through the end of my freshman year of college, I was in such a deep depression. No one did the breaking up; it was kind of a mutual agreement to separate. He pointed out all of my flaws and said he didn't know if he could go on with the relationship, and I pointed out all of his flaws and told him that I felt the same way... then we officially broke up. I was such a wreck that I had some terrible and disturbing thoughts. After about a month, I completely forgot about him and was glad to be away from him. Since I was away from him, I was able to look back and see how dysfunctional and meaningless our relationship really was. I was also able to make more sense out of our reasons for breaking up. We fought all the time. We basically stayed together for so long because we didn't have many friends and we were afraid that we'd never be able to get into another relationship. I could go on and ou, but I'll spare you. We had such lame reasons for us to continue torturing ourselves.

As time passes, you will be able to look back and make more sense of the whole situation as I have. I wish you the best. Remember that breakups happen for a good reason. After the grieving period, you will feel so liberated! *hugs*